Category: Blog Spot

Today was all about mom. She had 2 appointments: a pre-op appointment with her doctor and a Neuro Psych appointment that lasted over 4 hours.

The pre-op appointment was rough. Emotions are still so raw and new. The second the doctor asked how she was doing, reality set in and there was a weight in the room. We know what is ahead, but it doesn’t make it any easier when you have to talk about it…and today was all about talking about it. After many tears, an EKG, and bloodwork…appointment one was complete! Oh, let me not forget…I see the same doctor as my mom. My physical is scheduled for next week. Do you think that stopped my doctor from asking me if I got my flu shot? NO! I walked away needing a lollipop and it wasn’t even my appointment. #LoveDocAndHateDocAllInOne

The Neuropsychiatrist appointment was more for my mom than me. I was there mainly to fill in any blanks my mom couldn’t remember. I got asked some general questions about my mom and then I was shown the door about 45 minutes later. At 3p I get a text from my mom saying, “I am not doing good.” I responded, unsure if she was out or on a break…nothing. At 530p I called…nothing. Paranoia started to set in, then I finally got a call back just after 6p. I can hear it in my mom’s voice, she was deflated. She was not prepared for all of the questions and rounds of tests she would have to endure. I felt so bad, but knew it was all a part of checking her brain power before and after surgery. A necessary evil, if you will. Now, we wait.

I would be remissed if I didn’t mention who was caring for the minions while I was away. The “Principal” had to tend to the school today. Let’s just say, that little one put forth ZERO effort. AND…ANNNNNDDD…she was LATE FOR MATH! HOWWWWWWWWWWWW??? She failed to do several items during her independent time so she and I had to finish it all after school was over. She had the nerve to be mad! #NoBooSomeOfThisIsOnYou Needless to say, the “Principal” was suspended too. He needs to work on his side-eye with that little one. She will claim done in a minute and be kickin’ it like she just paid rent! Meanwhile, the house is on fire from a candle she lit. #MyPoorChild

Well, that was my day! How was yours?

#TimeToWineDown

Sooooooooo, at breakfast the hubby casually brought up last nights shenanigans. He calmly explained to Thing 2 why it is not a good idea to ever participate in #AssGate…EVER! He reminded her about what is appropriate and what is not. He also let her know that kind of behavior won‘t be tolerated. Kudos to you, Sir! I just added my two cents, though. I let her know that this goes BOTH WAYS. As much as I will not survive another #AssGate, I also want her to know that she shouldn’t be on the receiving end of anything inappropriate too. I let her know to come to us if she ever receives anything she knows is inappropriate, no matter where it comes from. We are all on the same page and no one had to change their address! Yes…that was still on the table! Told ya I would still be sitting in my pissed-off-ness!

I sent a message to my old neighbors apologizing about #AssGate. In true awesome neighbor fashion, I get a reply that “nudity is natural.” Now, I had to make sure they knew it was an undied booty I was referring to, but that reaction alone took the sting out of having to admit what happened on my watch. I felt less like I failed as a parent in that moment.

Now, I had to have a conversation with Nana. She took allllll of the fun out of it! She was apologetic before I could even lay it on thick about how I would be six feet under had I showed my ass, literally or figuratively, to anyone! She has a lot on her plate as is, so I had to make sure she knew all was forgiven. I might have gotten a few more apologies after that still.

What I learned, my kids will continue to make some poor decisions. If I have raised them right, though, they will learn from them, not live with regret, and realize that every new day gives them a chance to do it better the next time around. Guess I have to heed my own advice there too!

#AssGate2020 #Can’tBelieveItWasMyKidButHereWeAre

Tonight I did my routine device check. The little one was upgraded with her very own iCloud account. That means, I need to make sure she is messaging responsibly. She has the tendency to be impulsive, so I have to make sure she isn’t blowing up anyone’s text messages or FaceTime. Not even two minutes into my search and smoke is coming out of every facial crevice I have. The hubby has THE LOOK! You know, the look where you can tell he’s trying to revisit his week to make sure my reaction wasn’t a response to anything he did. I couldn’t talk, I just showed him the iPad. He put his head down. He knew what I knew…someone was about to need a new address!

Because I know you’re dying to know what I saw, it was a picture of my child’s ass (drawz on), but ass nonetheless! First order of business, who owns these numbers. I figured they weren’t random, but because her device was newly setup there were no names, just numbers. When I came to my senses, I noticed the first number was Nana. Shfew! Wait…she knew and didn’t tell me??? #Noted It took some comparing with her sister’s iPad and I noticed the only other victim of #AssGate was our old neighbor’s child. #Mortified

I was ready to get my child out of bed and have a talk with her about the inappropriateness of said texts. Her tail wasn’t sleep anyway, why not? Well, her FATHER (when he is the momentary opposition, yes, he gets reassigned to father) urged me to cool off first and discuss in the morning. Did he not realize the magnitude of the situation??? #Men He and I had a discussion about how my knee-jerk reaction may sit with a child who is impulsive by nature, but also new to the messaging game. FINE! I went one further, I told him he can lead this conversation and I will follow so that I don’t let my pissed-off-ness shine through. I know myself, this heat ain’t going away with sleep! Him, of ALL people, should know that!

Until tomorrow…

My BFF / sister recognized I was struggling emotionally lately. And because she knows I didn’t want to admit I was sinking (because I try to be strong regardless) she acted. She sent me a love and care package. It’s one of those packages you get in the mail that makes you feel like it’s Christmas when you open it. It was a box full of God. One of my Godly gifts was the book, Awaken, by Priscilla Shirer. This book has refocused me at a time when I thought all hope was lost.

I say all of that to give a backstory. Today’s lesson in the book was on forgiveness. This is one of those things where it’s easy to utter the words “I forgive you,” but hard to forget the act that warranted the forgiveness in the first place. I struggled with this for years. While today, I’m better at it, it’s still a work in progress. Today’s lesson reminded me of the costs associated with choosing not to forgive. I no longer want to go back to that life! See for yourself…

“Is there any medicine that you can take that makes you focus?  If so, that would be love of life.“ — The little one

Yesterday was a rough day for the little one and I. She could not keep herself focused during the school day, which meant we spent a couple of hours after school catching up. She missed a bike ride as a result.

My little one has long been impulsive, a super-charged mover and shaker! She cannot be bothered with slowing down or asking for permission. We like to say, “she gives NO damn” or “zero fox given!” She is truly one who lives her best life, no apologies.

This did not come in handy yesterday. It was the first day where teachers were starting more structured lessons and assigning a bit more work during independent time. I spent most of the day asking my child what she is supposed to be working on, telling her she doesn’t need her mouse to listen, saying “Hocus Pocus” (then she says, “everybody focus”), and asking her if she needs to take a minute to check her attitude. In summary, she and I had beef by the end of the day.

Then today at breakfast, she says, “Is there any medicine that you can take that makes you focus?  If so, that would be love of life.” #Tear

Children know! She recognizes that I am constantly trying to refocus her to tend to the task at hand and she doesn’t understand why her body has trouble doing that. What she doesn’t realize, is the answer to her question is yes, but that is not an option until we have exhausted all other non-medicated methods. I know my child. She has it in her to focus when there is something she is truly interested in. I mean, I’m pretty sure she can veg out on Roblox and forget there is a world outside of it. So, I need to find a way to bring that same enthusiasm to her virtual classroom.

Her teacher offered some great suggestions, like an exercise ball for sitting and stepping away from her desk during independent work times. I plan to try both of these, but if I know my kid, I need to have some other tools in my Project Home E-Learnitude pocket!

We shall see what tomorrow will bring! Until then… #ItsWineTime

WE MADE IT! And let me tell you, that almost didn’t happen!

The girls have their first week of school under their belt. My big one stepped her game up and championed e-learning. She signed on and got to work! I am so proud of the work she has put in, even though she isn’t in her desired environment. And this chick is a creative genius. After completing an escape room created by her GE Math teacher, she took after school time to create her own. This child would not take a break until it was complete and achieved her vision. I am so proud of her…even if she did rudely kick me out as I was trying to help her fix her grammatical errors. #SheCanHoldHerOwn

My little one was a warrior in her own right. She kept her pants on (most of the time) and mastered the art of dual monitors. She is now a true work from home convert. She signs on, moves her daily slides to her second monitor, and excitedly waits for the next snack and independent time. #Priorities If we can just get this child to stop spinning in her chair, tilting her chair backwards (it has wheels), flipping the camera switch on before I am out of view, and drifting off to never never land when it’s assignment time…we may just make it the year at home! #Maybe

I am starting to feel better about my exit stage left, though. I have been in the vicinity of both girls this week, just to make sure they are focused and have what they need at their fingertips. I thought I would be a runner for school stuff, but these chicks apparently need water bottles filled and snacks. Who knew? But I have to remind myself that I wouldn’t be there if they were in school. So, they need to be able to manage themselves without me.

I will remove myself from the room next week and post up in the hallway. That little one will appreciate not having a classmate all in her sugar! Next, I will make it to my bedroom and by week 4, I may just reunite with my own office…DOWNSTAIRS. Imagine that!

I am truly humbled and blessed. I am not working and can give my kiddos the attention and support they need during our “Project Home E-Learnitude.” Now I need to find a way to be that blessing for those that can’t, but virtually. We shall see…

At the dinner table, the most random-est conversations come up. Tonight was no different.

It all started when the big one said she wants to go to college and live in Paris. She asked what I would do. I told her I would of course move to Paris. I mean, DUH! I told her, you are going to want me close to you, especially when you have a family. Why did I say that? The little one then says she doesn’t want to have kids when she gets older. Her reasoning? It’s painful, so she’s out! I had the look of failure as a parent on my face…not because she doesn’t want children, but because she saw something that let her know it was painful while on my watch! I am running through what hasn’t been locked down. Sidebar, the kids have screen time and restrictions on their devices. So, if it wasn’t approved…HOW? Turns out, the episode of Fuller House where Stephanie has her baby is where she got this information from. All she saw was the PG13 version of having a baby and that was enough for her to cork it! Shfew! My Mother of the Year title is still in tact….maybe!

The big one then asks, “Well, don’t you HAVE to have a baby? Is there a way to stop yourself from having a baby?” Sweet…Baby…Jesus! I had to let her know, you have all of the choices when it comes to your body, babies included. IF you don’t want to have a child, there is medicine you can take to keep that from happening. She said, “Ohhhhhhhh! So, then TT must be taking that medicine.” #FLAT…LINE! Ummmm, yes. Moving on!

Because the random juices are still flowing, that little one starts up again. “When I grown up and get married I am going to live here. And then when you guys pass away this will be my house!” Sweet…Baby…JESUS! SHE’S SEVEN!!! I am shocked, appalled, amazed, curious, and fearful all rolled into one. I mean, at some point Momma has to sleep with one eye open! There was nothing to be said at this point. I had enough random conversation to last me the year.

I just pray these girls live the lives they choose for themselves, even if it seems like I won’t be able to shake that little one. She’s a lifer! She better wipe my butt in my old age or I am leaving the house to her sister with all that talk!

Welp, THEY MADE IT!

They may have signed in a few minutes late (let’s just say a red velvet pancake was burned and we still hadn’t taken our yearly First Day photos). Ahhh, well!

So far, though, these beautiful ladies are off to a great start. I look forward to the amazing year these ladies will have, not because they WANT to, but because they CHOOSE to. They will face many more challenges, some bigger than remote learning due to COVID. But what will always remain…my love, support, and our faith in God to persevere.

To my phenomenal young ladies, I am so proud of all you have done and what you will continue to do in this world! Keep being your unique selves because the world has plenty of ordinary…bring the EXTRAordinary! May God continue to bless you and keep you. And as Nana always says, “Don’t ever let the devil spoil your joy!”

#LEGGO

The girls’ “classrooms” are complete!

No matter the circumstance, these children are resilient and will overcome any obstacle thrown at them. Learning remotely is no different. While the venue has changed, the show must go on!

T-7 days until Project Home E-Learnitude is in full effect!

It is going to be a FABULOUS school year!

This blog was created to provide me clarity and therapy. I realized it could not do that if I was guarded about what I post. So, here goes…

August 27th, 2019 changed my family’s lives forever. A scary trip for my mom to the ER ended in a CT scan checking for a stroke and instead finding a mass. Everything and everybody moved so fast once the “spot” was found. There was no time to process much of what was being said. After a few days in the hospital, it was clear, my mom had to be referred to a neurosurgeon for a mass on her brain, likely a tumor. It sits on her right temporal lobe and can cause seizures, weakness, personality and vision changes. It is the area of the brain that controls short term memory, something that my mom noticed was becoming a bigger issue.

Several appointments later, my mom was given 3 choices: 1. Surgically remove the mass 2. Have a biopsy (which when it is dealing with the brain, a brain biopsy IS brain surgery) 3. Wait and see. My mom made the decision to wait and see.

Follow-up appointments in the meantime showed the tumor was holding steady….until today! Arnold (yes, the tumor has a name), has grown. The neurosurgeon was no longer going to allow the wait and see approach. Arnold has to be served his eviction papers. It’s time for BRAIN SURGERY!

As much as we all knew this day would come, it did NOT make it any easier to process. My mom is an emotional wreck, therefore, as am I. At this point, though, I just have to lean on the One who I know has complete control over this situation and its outcome. It is going to take everything I have, but I have what HE gave me. I pray for the best possible outcome here. Please join me in doing the same!