Category: Blog Spot

Welp, I did not sleep much nor did I sleep very well, but that is to be expected. I left my mom after 8p last night. She was in good spirits and grateful the nurse let her eat going into her MRI. By the time I got home and she had her MRI, she was eating again! #SheWasGettingItInAsLongAsSheCould #EatingUntilMidnight

Now, it is close to 6a and I am anxiously awaiting my video chat from my brother to let me know they are about to take her down to surgery prep. Her surgery is scheduled for 715a. I have THE MOST anxiety at the moment. I ate my usual yogurt parfait for breakfast, but I am wondering if it will make its way back up. The jury is still out on that one!

As I type, my mother sent me a text message with her smiling face saying, “Ready for a Good Day!” Now how can you not be put in a better mood when the one going in has found her strength? Well, I will take a bite of her high and get myself in the right frame of mind.

Dear Lord,

I come to you with an anxious heart. Forgive me, for I know You have already provided the roadmap for the day which does not include my worry or anxiety. Heal my heart; make me whole.

Heavenly Father, be with my mom and the neurosurgery team. Give them clarity, peace, and steady hands as they remove Arnold from my mom. Let there be no complications and all favorable pathology results. I ask this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ!

Amen and #Amen

Welp, yesterday was another emotional day! The anxiety is starting to build up for my mom and she was in need of some additional support to help her cope with the upcoming surgery. I am very proud of my mom! She recognized this need for herself and took action. She walked away feeling a little better and with some tools to help her should she feel all the feels again. Today and tomorrow will NOT be easy, but she has the strength that God gave her to power through and defeat this enemy we call Arnold. She just has to be reminded of that strength from time to time.

Today, I am preparing to leave. I will be staying closer to the hospital at my grandmother’s house. I will get to spend some quality time with both my mom and grandmother before we head to the hospital.

All of what is coming next will be hard! Being away from my hubby and girls, being a rock for my mom at a time when she needs it most, anxiously waiting for updates on my mom during her surgery tomorrow, and working through the post-surgery discussion about what Arnold was and what the next steps will be as a result. I am trying to get all of the cries out now. And trust, the tears are plentiful!

It’s weird…I feel like God already spoke to me and assured me my mom will be ok, but that hasn’t put me at ease quite yet. I know everything in the Bible tells me not to worry, but I simply cannot help it. I’ve tried! #LordForgiveMe #LordHearMyPrayer

I will end this post with my prayer for today:

Dear Lord,

Thank you for this day! Thank you for an opportunity to do it again and do it better! Lord, I come to you humble and afraid. I can’t fight the feelings of worry and fear. My family has been shaken by this tumor. My trust and faith in You and Your healing power has never waivered, though. I ask for your continued coverage for my family during this scary time. Lord, cover the neurosurgeon. Guide his hands during surgery tomorrow. Order his steps so that he can make the best possible decisions for my mother because it will be just him, her, and his team in there. Cover the surgical team that will support him and cover the nurses and staff that will support them. Let them be the light that my mother needs during her storm. Work through them so that she can see You and know Your presence is there. With COVID, I can only be so close and do so much. Fill in for me Lord. Let her seek You when she is in doubt and there is no one to turn to in that room. Heal her! Make her whole after this, even though something inside of her will be taken out. I know that what the enemy had prepared for evil You will turn to good. I believe…I trust…I pray! In the mighty name of Jesus!

Amen!

I can’t control much, but what I can control…what I can do…is use the gifts God gave me to be a ray of light during such a dark time.

It has taken me several days, but everyone’s shirt is ready!

#WeReady

Today was emotionally taxing! I am grateful for the day; it just took a lot out of me.

We are now T-4 days until my mom’s surgery. This has been extremely hard on her because no matter what happens, she is forever changed by it all. I have been trying to keep her spirits up and be her rock when she needs it, but it’s hard when I feel like I may crumble myself. My mom told me she wanted to make today her LOVE day. See, with COVID, she has not hugged her grandchildren since February. She hadn’t seen the inside of my house since February either. I have been playing it safe because I realize she and my dad are in the high risk category. I couldn’t imagine being the reason either of them were unknowingly exposed. But with everything that is happening, she needed to feel the support and love of our family. All of that could be fixed with hugs.

When my mom came over, I could see it in her eyes. She definitely needed this. The hugs were not the typical hugs. My mom clearly had a lot of hugs built up, so she had to make up for lost times and give a little extra to last through the surgery and recovery. First, Thing 1. Then, Thing 2. Then, me. Let me tell you, a mother’s hug can fix anything! My mother held me for a while tonight. I am a pretty tough nut to crack, but there was no part of me that didn’t feel all of the love my mother gave me tonight.

After the hugs, it was time to have the conversation with the girls. Thing 1 was piecing it together, but we hadn’t officially told the girls about the surgery yet. We planned to tell them at dinner tomorrow, but with today now being LOVE day, it was going to have to happen right here…right now.

Thing 1 is so much like me! She handled the news with very little emotion. It’s like she already feels the need to be “the strong one.” She and I will work on this together because it took me 37 years to realize I can’t handle it all and that it is ok to cry. Thing 2 was nonchalant for a while and then it hit her on her last hug to Nana. She felt the weight of the news and cried most of the way through the conversation. Thing 1 eventually got a short cry out. She then explained that it was ok to be scared beforehand, but everything will be ok once it’s all over. #LoveHer #GodUsesTheYoungToo

Now, we anxiously await surgery day. God has assured me He’s got this! I am going to do my best to remember that when fear and worry try to creep in. #GodsGotHer #HesGotMeToo

Last night was one of those night’s you will never forget! The 2020 Presidential Debate took over the night. I was dead-set on watching. While I haven’t been the most politically involved before, I made it a goal to fix that. The future lives of me and my family depend on it! Sh*t show, train wreck, “whose is bigger” competition, disgrace…however you describe it, it’s all accurate. Neither…party…won!

As I reflect on last night’s shenanigans, all I could think about was the stereotypical way a lot of men view women, especially women in positions of power. Women are too emotional. Women can’t control said emotions. Women can’t take the pressure that a typically male-driven role brings. Blah…blah…BLAH! Let’s peel away the topics that were supposed to be addressed last night. At the end of the day, this was the most emotional, can’t take the pressure debates I have ever seen! Each party’s pride showed up last night. And to those who still believe that women can’t take the pressure when placed in positions of authority, go kick rocks with no shoes on! This proves that we are ALL emotional beings and when faced with challenges, we have the potential to either A) buckle under pressure and therefore go into attack-mode or B) let our emotions take over and stoop to the other person’s level.

I simply cannot be proud about last night’s display and neither of our candidates should be. One should just be shame and the other needs to vow to never let someone get under their skin so much so that they lose sight of the big picture. If it were up to me, neither candidate would have the privilege of being anyone’s candidate…not even for Student Council Class President. If I had the time, I would research if there is any clause in the Constitution that allows parties to be disqualified and new parties nominated…maybe just as simple as the VP candidates take over and name new VPs in their place. For me, K. Harris / M. Obama has a nice ring to it!

Now…GO VOTE! It’s not only your God-given right, it’s the very thing you CAN control that will lay the framework for your future and the future of your kids! #LEGGO

During our cleaning day yesterday, I told Thing 2 to hang up her tops. I trusted her. I gave her the benefit of the doubt because I am tired of being a helicopter mom.

Today, I go in her closet and find this…

TECHNICALLY, she did what was asked of her! However, she knew full well the goal was to put her shirts where they belong in the closet. My OCD cannot take it! #SheGotJokes And just so you understand how my OCD works, her shirts are color-coded AND they all face the same way while on the hanger. As you can see, her goal is to get the shirt on the hanger…by any means necessary. #IJustCant #ShuttingTheDoor #AboutToGoRockBackAndForthInHorror

Soooo, cleaning days are hard! They are hard on the kids because well…they’re kids and they don’t see the mess they create as their responsibility to clean. It’s hard for me because I have to spend more time keeping the girls on task than I do actually cleaning!

The result of cleaning day…I have scrubbed more toilets than I’d care to ever do again anytime soon, I am not the friends of Thing 1 and Thing 2, and I realized I miss my cleaning professional sooooooo much! #JustWaitUntilCOVIDIsOver #JustWait

At the end of the day, the girls and I had a conversation about why it takes them ten years to clean, but 2 seconds to mess it up. They shared the stress they feel on cleaning days because I ask them to put things in their home and not just shift the mess to another location. #ImagineThat I asked the girls for some solutions. See, you can complain all day, but if you can’t propose a solution then we have nothing to discuss. Their response, they’d rather trade jobs. They will clean the bathrooms and I will tidy up their rooms and the bonus room…with the disclaimer that they still have to pick up behind themselves. Sidebar, I already told the hubby they were going to get a lesson in appreciation and I was going to make them responsible for the bathrooms. So, it’s good to see we are on the same page.

This is going to get interesting! I know my girls and I know that big one is much like me. We turn our noses up at all things gross. She is going to scrub that toilet one…maybe two times and be asking for her old job back! That little one, though, she actually may enjoy it because she has 4 main areas of focus: toilet, tub, sink, and floor. Once those are tended to she can go on about her day while her sister is sitting there staring at the toilet like it’s going to clean itself. These kids may want to live together as adults because they are truly the yin to each other’s yang!

More to come…

Welp, the chocolate hazelnut icebox cake was a success!

I am not a hazelnut kinda gal, but I have to admit, this was good! The best part of it all was spending time with my girls…well, the one that wanted to help anyway! They are so creative and willing to try most things. While quarantine is hard, it is likely a time I will cherish most because of the time spent with my unit. #LoveMeSomeThem

Today was a good day! Here’s why…

Me: Thing 2, why did you put the egg in the water?
Thing 2: The recipe called for egg wash!
#Yes #YesItDid #LiteralQueen

See, it doesn’t matter how bad of a day I could be having, it is moments like these that give me just enough comedic relief that it doesn’t even matter. These girls are true life givers!

A little backstory: The kids enjoy finding new recipes on the Alexa. Today’s recipe was a baked brie macaroni and cheese. Both girls fell in love (this doesn’t happen often), therefore, I headed to InstaCart to get the ingredients. I guess we are doing this!

Then, a month or so ago, Thing 2 found a recipe for a chocolate hazelnut icebox cake. This is super odd. The little one isn’t a huge fan of chocolate and certainly not a fan of hazelnut. I bought the mascarpone cheese and chocolate graham crackers a couple of weeks ago, may as well make it a new recipe night, right?

Thing 1 and Thing 2 were off to a great start helping. Then, in true Thing 2 fashion, she headed over to the couch to partake in anything, except helping. After a lot of hard work with Thing 1, dinner was a success! We will have to wait for tomorrow to try the dessert. Turns out, it needs a minimum of 6 hours of fridge time. Guess Friday Treat Day will be extra special!

Today, I had to wake up these minions…AGAIN! I don’t get it! THREE alarms were going off this morning and NO ONE was moving!

Begrudgingly, I went and got them jokers up. The big one was eyes open, laying in bed. Really? She got a, “wake your butt up.” That little one, though…that little one…she didn’t even flinch. She was still deep into last night’s dream! This kid can sleep through Armageddon. #SheGetsThatGoodGood

As I worked to wake that little one, I noticed her bunk bed wrap was cut to shreds and her stuffed pony got a new hair cut. Her response about why she did it, “I don’t know.” Her response about where the scissors went, “I don’t know!” Now, there are two strikes here. One, that child has been warned about using scissors in bed. And two, she has been talked to about destroying things (e.g. her sister’s porcelain pony magically lost 2 ears).

At this point, I am beyond livid! I had to walk away on this one. See, my head is not level in moments like this so I needed someone to talk me off a ledge. I woke up her daddy for this!

#WoooooooooSaaaaaaaaa